A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, someone wise beyond their years coined the phrase 'rivet counter' and the universe was never quite the same again. Conjuring up vivid images of some myopic individual with his nose shoved firmly against the side of a loco, it perfectly described the obsessive enthusiast, the kind of grumpy old git who would quibble over the minutest details without taking a step back to appreciate the bigger picture. Unfortunately, as many have remarked, the term has been hijacked somewhat in recent years and used in a totally different context - a great shame in my view.
Language is a continuously evolving thing, certainly, and I don't expect things to stand still. The classic and oft-quoted example is the word 'gay' normally meaning something quite different in modern times. Yet the term 'rivet counter' hasn't evolved at all, it's almost been kidnapped and held to ransom. A handful of establishment figures (if being a big fish in your own very small pond can be taken to be establishment) started to use it as an insult directed at anyone who dared to criticise anything at all, but most specifically those of us who were concerned that whole locos were the wrong shape. Those of us who were looking at the big picture rather than the rivets, in other words!
The difference between a whole loco and a rivet is about as big as it gets in this context, yet before long the more sheep-like disciples of these spin-doctors were singing to the same tune and 'rivet counter' has never been the same since. Much of the ensuing kerfuffle was driven, unsuprisingly, by the ranters and haters, those who can't accept that the tastes of others might be different. Some knuckle-dragging genetic throwback spitting 'rivet counter' with the same venom as he would 'nigger' or 'queer' is hardly an example of evolution as far as I'm concerned. Quite the opposite.
So, can we have 'rivet counter' back? Unlikely, I'm afraid, even if we pay the ransom. It's been scarred for life by the whole unpleasant experience and will never be quite the same again. The best we can hope for is a return to some kind of natural evolution, a 'rivet counter' for the 21st century. Where are the modern 'rivet counters' then? Where are those obsessed by the details and oblivious to the bigger picture? Look around and it shouldn't be that difficult to spot them. Next time the monthly rags are flocking to enumerate the twiddly little bits on the latest Hornby release whilst ignoring the shape errors in the whole body, think awhile about what you're seeing. When you next chance upon a collector website where some grumpy old gits are bleating on about the presence of an electrification flash on a steam loco as if it's a life-or-death issue, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Rivet counter counting has never been this easy.
They're raising the baa every month, and it's not a pleasant sound...
Currently On My Stereo: Pink Floyd - Animals